i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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