This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
