i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
