Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
