we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
