i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
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