Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
