Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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