i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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