Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
