What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
