I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
