yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
