i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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