He uses pillows to masturbate.
He felt like a one man threesome
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize