yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
