I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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