no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
