im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
