im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
