I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize