Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
You made out with two different species that night
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
