I wanna passion pit in your ass
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
