Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
