I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
