It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
