Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize