I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Sorry about my life...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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