i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i will never coherently bang her
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote āColleenās Dickāwith a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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