I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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