Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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