I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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