eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
