i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
