ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
