i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize