i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
