Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
