Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
