I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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