I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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