the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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