sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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