so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
