my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
