Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
