you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
