I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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