If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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