my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
