Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
