Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize