so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
