And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
