I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
