Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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