I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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