you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
