I want to have your abortion
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
