Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
