Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
