Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She bit a glass in half.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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