I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
